Should You Get Back Together With an Ex? The I Ching Has a Hexagram for Exactly This

The I Ching has a hexagram that literally means "return" — Hexagram 24, Fu. But it never says "go back"; it describes the conditions under which a return actually means something.

This is probably the most frequently asked question in the whole field of love readings. And the I Ching has a hexagram that means exactly "return": **Hexagram 24, Return**.

Before we look at the hexagram, one thing must be clear: Fu is not a hexagram that says "go back". It is about the conditions under which a return has meaning.

The Key Line: "Returning From No Great Distance"

The first line of Fu — the most auspicious line in the whole hexagram — reads: *"bu yuan fu"*, returning before you have gone too far.

The I Ching links this line to Yan Hui, Confucius' student, praised because he saw his fault, corrected it at once, and never repeated it.

Applied to getting back together: the deciding factor is not "do we still love each other" — it is whether the reason for the breakup has been recognised and corrected.

If you return while the old problem is intact, that is not "return" in the I Ching sense. It is just another turn of the same circle.

The Warning Line: "Deluded Return, Misfortune"

The top line of Fu is the worst in the hexagram: *"confused, not knowing how to return"* — and the consequences are described as lasting a very long time.

Note what it warns about. Not the act of going back, but lingering forever without making any decision at all — neither truly letting go nor truly returning. That is the state the I Ching treats as the worst.

Questions Worth Asking Before You Cast

In the spirit of Fu, three questions are worth asking yourself:

  • Has the thing that broke you apart actually changed, or have only the feelings changed?
  • Do you want that person back, or the feeling of that earlier time?
  • If you do not go back, can you genuinely let go?

If these three have no clear answer yet, a reading will serve you far better than casting when what you really want is to hear a yes.

Fu is only one of many I Ching hexagrams that speak about love — you can read more in the five most important hexagrams on relationships for a fuller picture.

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